Life out there

Okay so it's been a few months...

I'm a full blown college student now and my life consists of writing papers, drinking bad alcohol (although I've gotta say that's already gotten old), watching movies, getting sick because I live in a cesspool of human germs, and meeting new people. What's exciting is this:

In the midst of writing at least two essays a week because I am enrolled in three english classes currently, I have had the time to edit and almost finish my book. I'm hoping that by the time thanksgiving break comes to an end I will have a completed and perfectly polished manuscript... or at least one that I am happy with.

As for now my social life is pretty stagnant. I have met some truly amazing people since my time in college but the honeymoon period of being in college has certainly run dry. Not to say I'm not having fun, just that now it feels like I'm in school again, not just playing. I'll try to be better at updating this (although my promise may prove false) I just don't have as much time as I used to.

Word of advice for the day: If you ever have an option to let your identity be completely separate from the amount of money you possess never, ever hesitate to make it that way.

I'm not good enough with Roman numerals to continue like that

I'm so frackin' hungry.

Word of advice for the day: "Don't fear your best friends cause a best friends never gonna do you wrong, and don't fear your worst friends cause a worst friends just a friend that's done you wrong. And don't fear the nighttime cause the monsters know that you're divine and don't fear the sunshine cause everythings better in the summertime." Franti give it to meh.

INK XVIII

La da da da la da da da....

Current news goes as such:

1. I got my wisdom teeth out and have scarcely left my house for the past four days. Lammme. The surgery didn't go as well as they had hoped and they had to dislocate my jaw in order to get one of the teeth out, not that I remember any of that, that's just what I've been told.

2. I have recently become far more dedicated to learning guitar and I am LOVING it. I have, since I was just a wee thing, wanted to play the guitar but I've always been too lazy to actually do it, until now yay!

3. So weird, Not My Type and I have actually stayed in contact. Like a lot of contact. We have texted or called each other every day since I left Aspen and he even came down to the city for a night for a concert, I didn't get to see him though :( (mostly my fault, lack of communication whatevs...) The big bummer though? 'Cause there is always a big bummer, I was right. I was totally, absolutely, 100% being played. Not My Type has a girlfriend. Shit. I realize that I should probably end all communication with him because supposedly I have more morals than to consciously cheat with someone, but he's just so gosh darn cute. Besides since I've been unbelievably high since I got my wisdom removed I can't help but call him at 2 in the morning every day. I hope that ends once I sober up a bit, but we shall see. Stupid guys with girlfriends, why do you make everything so frackin' complicated?

4. The countdown continues until Marmaduke returns and the time is actually ticking by quite quickly. It's slightly terrifying to me for some reason, maybe it's because he gets home, stays home for 7 days and then goes to school. I'm pretty sure we're over, not that we ever were. All I can say is Thank God, I'm freeeeeeeeee. Here's to hot, single, college boys right around the corner!

5. I haven't had any luck with publication thus far, meaning I've sent out 5 query letters and received 3 no's already, fingers crossed for the last two! I think at this point I'm just going to edit it myself and then publish it on Kindle. I've read into it and it seems like a pretty decent alternative to hardback publication and definitely to self publication (which is a horrible idea to any of you who are looking into it).

6. Summer is going TOO quickly and I'm starting to fureak out a little bit. I can say though, that I have somehow managed to do everything I wanted to do. I finished my book, I have taken up photography, learned the guitar, met new people, done something rebellious, and met a new boy. I feel accomplished, I just have to remind myself sometimes.

Word of advice for the day: Life goes fast, remember to look at the things you've accomplished to help it slow down. Also, Take A Minute by K'Naan is gureat, listen to it if you haven't already.

INK XVII

Oh boy it's been a long time. I've been focusing my writing attention on adding the finishing touches to my fourth book (yes!) and the query letters that go along with it. Aside from that my summer has proved abnormally busy considering the fact that I am only slightly productive. I just spent the last week and a half in Aspen and then came down from the mountains and went directly to my orientation for college. It's been a busy week. If you're wondering about my odd love triangle here is the latest news:

1. Marmaduke is in fact no longer in the country. He messages me every once and awhile but our relationship is dwindling and I have found my self surprisingly okay with that. Perhaps it's because of the fact that he never really treated me that well.

2. BFF has been slightly MIA but I suppose the separation is good for us. I've been busy in Aspen and writing and he's been playing so much tennis that his skin has actually turned black from the extended amount of time in the sun. I'm ready for new friends, is that bad to say?

3. Almost Famous and I casually hooked up the other night. We didn't talk about it or anything but it's understood between us that neither of us really like each other it was just we were the only sober ones at this club party downtown. It's not awkward between us at all, which is surprising considering I am admittedly one of the most awkward people ever.

4. I have actually fallen for a new guy. It's odd for me considering for the past two years I have been interested in either one of the three guys listed above. We're going to call this guy Not My Type, because he's not my typical taste. He's more skater/punk, but he's tall and attractive and has bright blue eyes, tan skin, a toned body, he's super nice, and he has earrings. He lives in Aspen, I can't believe I have a summer romance!

Anyway Not My Type did all the right things. He called me pretty, complimented my wardrobe, called me multiple times, begged me to follow him places. Basically he treated me the exact opposite as to how Marmaduke treated me, and it felt oh so good. That being said, I feel like I was a little played. I wonder how many girls he has done this to. You can only tell so much about a person through their facebook. I guess it doesn't really matter now though, seeing as I'm back home and he's still in Aspen. C'est la vie.

Right now I'm trying to focus on what I really want which is this:

I realllllllly want to get my book published. Since freshman year I've been learning about the publication process so that when I finally had a decent manuscript I would know what to do with it. I also want to get in shape so that I can feel confident during my first year in college. Lastly, I want to feel better. Over the past two years I have developed a mild case of insomnia. (I wonder if that has any correlation to Marmaduke? I don't think it does) Anyway, the doctors thought it was because I have celiac so I got way more focused and cut all the gluten out of my life. I feel exactly the same though, except for the fact that now I'm more sensitive to gluten, awesome. I'm supposed to go to the doctor again in about a week and they will decide if I need surgery or not. Apparently I have a really deviated septum so the reason I don't sleep is because I can't breathe. Who knows.

I'm tired and for some reason feel like crying. I'll try to post again soon but I can't promise anything. My focus is somewhere else.

Word of advice for the day: Sometimes it's not worth thinking about the consequences. There are consequences to everything but the aftermath shouldn't prevent you from doing something you really want to do. Also, even if you don't know how to work it right away, a high-quality camera is a very solid investment.

INK XVI

Tomorrow Marmaduke leaves. I wonder if I'll ever see him again. I did in fact see him once before he set off for a different country, and it was purely on accident. Him and his brother were playing bball near my house when I happened to be riding my bike to my friends house. An odd coincidence considering after two years I have never once run into them.

Anyway, I'm feeling a little blue but I'm sure it will pass. I don't really feel like writing much today, but I'll get back into things soon- or so I hope.

Word of Advice for the day: Riding your bike barefoot on a summer night is the ultimate happiness-maker.

INK XV

Okay, okay so I know I'm getting a little redundant but things are once again amiss with BFF. This time though, it's my turn to be mad at him. First he professes his love to me, ignores me, then I tell him I like him back but have to wait until after prom so I don't hurt Almost Famous's feelings, then a few days after prom he hooks up with some rando girl at a club party! Like comon' are you kidding me with this? And then he asks literally everyone else to ask me if I'm mad at him rather than coming up and confronting me himself. I'm so frackin' frustrated I kind of want to punch him in the face.

Anyway I went to one of the many debutante balls last night and there was this guy who oh my most attractive boy i've seen in awhile. Seriously, I miss him and I don't even know him. It really kept my mind off of the fact that BFF was ignoring me completely and all over every other girl. Sigh i'm so done with him and Almost Famous. Time for a new boy, i'm thinking sexy fohawk boy with the Burton t-shirt from the Deb ball. Mhmmm. Oh also in the big new category I bought a camera today a Nikon D3000 and I'm super excited. It was a little pricey but it came with an extra lens and battery and all this other stuff so I think it was a good deal. As soon as it gets here I'll start uploading pictures for sure!

Sorry this blog is more of a rant than anything meaningful but I'm just tired of all of this nonsense. By the way Marmaduke leaves in four days... the countdown continues :/. Here we come Fresh Start, I hope you're as nice as you sound.

Word of advice for the day: Don't be afraid of leaving things behind; life is about the moments and experiences you have and sometimes you only make lasting memories if you change it up a little. Keep your head up, things always get better.

INK XIV

My graduation parties are finally coming to a halt. In the midst of all this madness I am working on leaving town just for a night and retreating to the mountains; my real home.

I'm feeling a little frustrated lately. I think it's because there is so much I want to do but I can never seem to do it. There's something missing from my life and I feel greedy saying that. I have so much that to want more seems absurd. I think I still want Marmaduke. I'm not really sure what I want anymore.

BFF and Almost Famous have recently let me down. Instead of being upset with them though, I've decided that I really don't care anymore. It was too much work to like either of them, so now i've decided to like neither of them. I'm hoping for a fresh start. I can't believe how soon I will be going off to college. Life moves so fucking fast.

I feel like I'm rambling. I know I was going to start my short story series but I am so tired my eyes are literally falling shut as I type. Hopefully I will get around to it this weekend.

Word of Advice for the day: You have to start somewhere. Stop talking about doing something and just do it. Sometimes you just need to sit and figure out what it is that you really want.

INK XIII

I HAVE OFFICIALLY GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL!

Today at precisely 9:30 AM I stood amongst my peers and gleefully pranced across my high school's landscape and reached my hand out for my diploma- what a truly wonderful moment that was. I must say that graduation is my new favorite holiday. I have received far more presents this week than ever before, and besides that everyone is so genuinely happy. I love it.

BFF and I are back to normal, it was actually a fairly quick fix. We talked for a few hours on his birthday and I told him that I was too spontaneous by nature to sit down and discuss with him if I would ever be willing to date him or not. He didn't really understand what I was saying but I think it gave him hope that there was still the possibility of a relationship between the two of us-- I suppose I'm kind of hoping for the same thing. I wish I was attracted to him like Marmaduke. Speaking of Marmaduke, he has been MIA lately because if I'm not at a graduation party I'm busy meeting with relatives or talking to friends. This time of year is certainly busier than before. He leaves so soon and he doesn't really seem to care that we are going to be saying goodbye. If anything he has been talking to me less, almost as if he wants to pretend we never really were friends. He is a strange boy, I'm intrigued by him although I wish I wasn't.

I'm exhausted, it has been a very long day. I want to remember it exactly as it happened because the moment was poetic and reflected only the best parts of my time in high school. I will miss my friends desperately. They keep me sane. Here's to KDS class of 2010 "Oh, the places we'll go"!

Word of Advice for the day: Try your hardest to live in the moment. Take in the scenery, the smell, the feel of the moment, so that you can remember how happy you truly were.

INK XII

Prom was yesterday and I am currently running on 2o minutes of sleep and an uncomfortably large amount of appetizers. I had four grad parties today all of which were obligations. Tis the season!

Anyway, prom was actually super fun. My date, Almost Famous, and I had a wonderful time although it stayed for the most part simply a relationship between friends. I still don't know what to do about BFF, he was in my prom group last night and managed to ignore me the entire night until we got to my friends house at 3:30 AM where we all spent the night. Almost Famous fell asleep pretty quickly and soon it was just BFF and I awake watching Super Bad. Around 5:30 I crashed and fell asleep with my head against his chest. His heart was beating so quickly though, that I actually woke up. I realized this is precisely the situation that he had been trying to avoid. So I moved again.

BFF took my friend Aggie to prom with no intention of forming any kind of relationship with her other than friends. Still though, they have become almost inseparable and I can't help but feel as though BFF has upgraded to a new best friend. I have cried too much about it now. He keeps leaving me even though he said he wouldn't. I need him.

Tomorrow is his birthday, but he'll probably be busy with Aggie, I feel like it's not even worth calling him. I don't think he realizes how hard this whole thing has been on me too. Ugh, I'm tired and I can't even tell if I'm forming sentences anymore. I'm going to bed.

Word of advice for the day: I wish I could give you some advice, but I'm all out. For now I'll leave you with this: take it one day at a time, that's all you can ask of yourself.

By the way, today I learned that giraffes tongues are 18-20 inches, that's frackin' incredible!

INK XI

Tomorrow is prom. It doesn't feel like it though, especially considering I have yet to find a suitable dress... I'll like to wait to the last minute to do things, it makes me feel adventurous.

I feel like I cry a lot now. I'm growing very nostalgic. Since high school began I've practically been counting the hours until college, but now that the hours are limited I find myself clinging to my childhood and my life that has up till now, been comfortably grounded in my high school. BFF and I are not better. Despite the fact that we again talked at a party we were both at, things have hardly changed. It's going to take time, which physically makes me cringe. The idea of wasting time that I could be spending laughing and playing with BFF, contemplating our feelings for one another seems unbearable. Yet, I see where he's coming from, and despite my feelings I will give him the space he is asking for, because I love him.

On a brighter note two things: First, I am hopefully purchasing a camera tomorrow. One of those nice hi-def ones. I'm preemptively spending my grad money; I think it's a wise purchase. With my new camera I hope to upload some pictures on here... maybe then I'll draw a little more attention to my rants. Second, I think shortly, once my life calms down a titch and I have less things to write about I am going to begin my short stories series. I consider my self a magnet to unusual events, and I think it is about time I share those events.

In hopes of reminding my self in the future of what I was intending on writing about here is a brief synopsis of what is to come:

1. My toilet

2. The Chipotle worker

3. The dog that lept

Intriguing, yes?

Word of advice for the day: Sometimes being happy-go-lucky is not a good thing. There is something to be said for a detailed plan and for knowing exactly how you feel about a particular situation. Also, fish oil pills and vitamin E are life savers. Seriously, if you want your hair to be shiny and long pop a few of those bad boys and you'll wake up with a mane.

INK X

I'm worried I made the wrong decision.

After it all, after all the private tennis lessons, the chipotle runs, and typical best friend moments he asked me. He asked me the one thing I was unprepared to answer; how I felt about him. I told him the truth which was this: I loved him to the point where it was actually painful but the timing was off. We could never date when Maine was only 3 months away and my new life as a college student was equidistance. The question was straight forward and all I had to say was yes or no. Would I or would I not date him. I answered no. I answered wrong.

After a lengthy discussion he hugged me and promised he would never leave me. He told me then though that I had to leave him alone for awhile if I wanted to let him fall out of love with me. He is my best friend and when he told me that I crumpled. It's about time I cried over him, I thought.

With Marmaduke leaving, BFF asking for space, and my old family friend snubbing me with a sub par, impersonal, graduation gift after we spent hours searching for his perfect gift, I feel as though the overcast weather is strikingly suitable. I feel a little hazy myself. And my own form of raindrops are falling almost uncontrollably from my eyes. Such is life.

If I could do it all over again I would have preferred to never know Marmaduke, that way I could fall in love properly with BFF.

Word of advice for the day: Sometimes it's important to seclude yourself from the rest of the world. It's a good way to avoid conflict.

INK IX

I just returned home from my last day of working at my elementary school. It was fun but I'm glad to officially be on summer and have the wonderful privilege of sleeping in.

Update on all the things in my life is as follows: To start with I did not get the job as the tennis instructor- so lame- but I'll live. Secondly, Marmaduke departs the country in roughly 15 days plus or minus a few because I don't know the actual date he is leaving. I suppose by this point I should have already given up on him, but alas it is so easy to tell a teenage girl that a boy is wrong for her but so so hard for that teenage girl to accept the facts and move on. I had a long talk with BFF about "our feelings" and I think it was very good for us to have put everything out in the open. He says we can remain best friends and all I can do is pray to God that he's telling the truth.

I feel like Marmaduke is going to be the one who got away. You know what I mean? Like in 20 years from now I'm going to be in a comfortable relationship when Marmaduke stumbles by and I go all gaga for him again. A girl can't help herself. Besides, he's breathtakingly good-looking. I'm shallow, I'll be the first to admit it.

Before I forget I did have something funny happen to me today. I was downtown and I parked in this annoyingly cramped parking spot. It was so small that in order to pull out I had to do a 14 point turn- no exaggeration. As I was pulling out though (that's what he said) this boy about my age walks right up to my car. As I feverishly pulled back and forth in an attempt to free myself from the parking lot the boy just stood there and laughed at me. I asked if he wanted to get past me and he said no he'd prefer to watch me struggle. Anyway, he helped direct me out of the parking lot and I had a good laugh and thus my first true summer day was ended. Well kind of. Is it stupid of me that I'm sitting on my couch just praying that Marmaduke will text me to go out? Probably... actually definitely. Oh, well.

Word of Advice for the day: Being fake nice is just as bad as being a straight up bitch. Be yourself, good or bad, and find the people who truly like you for you. Also, when looking bad prevents you from going out and having a good time, it is definitely time to rethink your life.

INK VIII

I just returned from Vail yesterday and spent the evening at a ranch in Parker. It was my friends Graduation/Birthday party and it resulted in one of those idyllic moments that you pray you can remember precisely as it happened. For starters, his sister initiated a softball game College Kids vs. High Schoolers. The results are unimportant mostly because his sister simply ended the game once they were ahead. Needless to say, though, it was fun and something, having lived in the city for my whole life, I had not been permitted to do in my own backyard.

After the softball game we had cheeseburgers and chili and sat around a bonfire as my friend played the guitar and sang songs by the Counting Crows and James Taylor. Between the beginning and the end of the night my friend had pulled out a box of Forth of July fireworks, the fireworks that are illegal in about every state except Wyoming. I stood amongst my best friends in the whole world, staring up at the sky that was littered by streaks of color and loud hissing sounds. I've become abnormally nostalgic lately, realizing that the next three months are the end of an era. I love these people and I will miss them dearly.

It is summer now. I am sitting outside at 10 in the morning and already getting a tan. If you're wondering about the tennis job I am still waiting to hear, but as the hours pass I am becoming less and less confident in my prospects. If I get the job, though, that would be terrific. Money, tennis, tan, kids, BFF, certainly good things would come. If I don't, though? Free Summer! So, what's wrong with that? Nothing is wrong with that at all.

Word of Advice for the Day: Remember to put things in perspective. If you don't talk to someone for three weeks because they hurt your feelings, that's three weeks less time you have to spend with them. On a separate note: Just go for it.

INK VII

I am lacking sleep.

I've been going to bed at 1:30 every night and waking up at 6:30 for the past two weeks and I've gotta say I think it has finally taken its toll on me. Aside from that I have a sinus infection. I get them every time I eat gluten (I have celiac disease). I eat gluten ALOT. Poor form, I know.

Anyway I'm leaving for the mountains tomorrow, which should be a nice change of pace because while it is the mid 80's here it is snowing in the mountains. I kept getting stuck in traffic yesterday because the street by my house is down to one lane because of construction. The odd part about this is that every time I got stuck in traffic the person next to me was Marmaduke. This happened three times, which obviously means the universe is trying to push us together... right? I dunno, regardless of whether or not the fates were trying to get us together he's attractive and it added to my day. He leaves in three weeks for a different country. Such is life.

Anyway, my best friend lets call him BFF just cause that makes sense and I'm surprised I haven't given him a nickname yet, has recently told me that he thinks our relationship is crumbling. This is partially true considering I am going to prom with a different guy so I have been spending less time with BFF because everyone has always thought that we're dating and I didn't want to be mean to my prom date. I was tired of this, though, so BFF and I have spent the past 48 hours together and last night I fell asleep in his arms as we were watching Taken and it felt right. I'm really going to miss him. Fuck Maine.

I need to sleep now, my eyes are burning and my head is throbbing. Paul Simon is playing in the background, though, and my windows are open and letting in a soft summer breeze. Ahh how I love this time of year.

Word of advice for the day: Stop over thinking everything. Life is more fun with spontaneity. Going with the flow is far easier than fighting the current. Buckle up and enjoy the ride.

INK VI

Alright, so to at least briefly elaborate on what happened the other night I'll give you this. I went to four parties in one day, 3 of the 4 were fun the last one was like getting run over by a train. To start with the girl whose house we were at was in her parents room with some guy for an hour and a half so we just decided to let ourselves in through her garage. As we waited for her to get out of the bedroom I opened up her laptop which was locked, but my friend knew what her password was. Once we logged on all these windows popped up and closed out of all of them to see her background. You'll never believe what it was. It was a picture of Marmaduke, the weirdest part? Marmaduke has never met this girl, ever. I asked him.

Second weirdest part of the night is that two of my closest friends since 8th grade who have been so extremely against drinking that they've barely even looked at a beer can let alone drink from one, drank that night. One of them had five shots, FIVE, I was surprised she could even walk considering that was the first time she had ever drunk. I'm not really bothered by people drinking even though I never really have. I just don't do it because alcoholism has been a huge issue for my family and I've seen the amount of harm it can do to a person. I've never been judgmental about it though and nor have I ever felt uncomfortable around it. That is not how my friends were. In fact they were the complete opposite. So it's not the fact that they drank cause that's kind of inevitable I suppose, but it's the fact that they are now, in my mind at least, the two biggest hypocrites ever! Not to mention followers, two traits that are never good to have.

Either way the night turned out to be a bit of a disappointment, but what are you going to do about it. Today I have a job interview, which I am surprisingly nervous about. It's to become a tennis pro at this country club. I think i'm nervous cause I suck at tennis :/. The only reason I'm applying for it is because it sounds like the perfect job. Wish me luck!

Word of advice for the day: You win some you lose some. When you're feeling down listen to the indigo girls.

INK V

I had the weirdest night ever. I would try to go into detail but I can't even grasp all that happened. I'll update tomorrow, I have too much weird on me right now.

I want to cry.

Word of advice for the day: High school is one huge shit show, stay as far away from it as fucking possible.

INK IV

I haven't talked to Marmaduke the past few days, mostly because I've been busy and I'm always the one to initiate the conversation. Whenever I do go a few weeks without talking to him though, I have a sort of inexplicable feeling of freedom. I like that feeling. Eventually though, I will remind myself that I actually do miss him and I'll end up sending him some random text about puppies or a party or something else that is irrelevant but somehow gives me an excuse to talk to him. That time is approaching swiftly I am sure of it.

In the meantime I have been teaching at my old elementary school because it is a requirement for me to graduate to get a three week internship. I'm teaching 7th grade history, and it's fantastic. I wake up at 7:30 AM leave my house around 8:00 drive ten minutes to the school where I then teach until 12:45 every day. Oh, and did I mention I get 10:00 - 11:20 off? Yeah, it's pretty sweet.

I suppose the biggest news of the week is that I found out who my college roommate is going to be for next year. I talked to her a little last night and am beyond happy to report that she is not a total crazy but instead quite similar to me. Seriously, what a relief.

As for now my life is surprisingly organized. I'll certainly keep you posted though.

Word of advice for the day: Sometimes going back to your beginnings is the best way to organize your future.

INK III

My head was so clustered with thoughts and the like that I decided to not even attempt to organize them. That may sound like a simple excuse, just a reason as to why I didn't write, but to be perfectly honest I had so much free time last night I voluntarily watched Bride Wars, so there.

To start with my friend Marmaduke didn't end up having a party so I didn't have to worry about getting invited or not. Here's the zinger though, my friend Almost Famous who just happens to be my prom date was asked to another prom by an outside of school girl. Shocker, it's Marmaduke's prom and to add fuel to fire they were in the same group. Kill me. Anyway Almost Famous calls me at midnight on the night he's at their prom and he tells me to meet him at the after party. Reluctantly I gather a few of my friends and the five of us wait in my living room for Almost Famous to call and give us directions. Cue the time lapse sequence, by 1:45 AM Almost Famous calls us with the directions and when we say we aren't coming he continues to beg until the five of us in my living room give in.

By the time we reach the party it's 2:00 AM and I admit a flash of panic crossed my mind because I had promised my mom I would be home by 1:30 AM... whoops. So we walk into the party, four girls and one boy, and Almost Famous comes frolicking towards us and swoops me into his arms. When he sets me back down I look around the house to see 12 or so passed out kids, 4 or 5 makeup-stained girls death starring me and one horribly attractive boy, starring at me with a smirk across his perfectly tanned face. It was Marmaduke. I almost fell over, life just surprises the shit out of me sometimes.

Anyway, because he was such an asshole to me a few months ago and this was the first time I had seen him since he had "apologized" (it was the most half-assed apology ever) I decided that I would refuse to say hi to him first. 10 minutes later he strolls over to me and says hi. That's it, just hi. I say hi back, give him a hug, and then he returns to his perch atop the couch and wraps his arm around some drooling, passed out girl. Awesome.

As the night progresses the 4 or 5 girls who were not passed out but thoroughly pissed off approach me and my 5 group of friends and kick us out of the party. They were actually pretty agressive, and if I weren't wearing my 5 inch Dolce and Gabbana military boots I probably would have felt threatened, but I was so I didn't.

Overall the night was the epitome of a disaster but somehow I walked out unscathed and with my pride still in tact. I had fun, don't ask me how.

Word of advice for the day: Sleep is a waste of time, get some Synergy from Whole Foods and call it a day. That shit is amazing (and will keep you up for days).

INK II

Organizing of thoughts round two.

Today I got in a fight with my best friend, the one I said I was falling for. Typical, I'm always unsure about how I feel about him. It was a fake fight, but everyone knows that if you pretend long enough eventually it becomes real. I was mad at him for telling one of my secrets to another one of his friends. Whatever.

Anyway tomorrow is prom for that guy, let's call him Marmaduke (it's an actual nickname) and it turns out he's having the after prom party at his house. Curious as to whether or not I'm going to get invited? Trust me, meeee too. Cross your fingers I do because I just bought a kick ass pair of boots that will make my entrance as grand as I want it to be.

Despite all that is going on, today was a fantastic day! I took my cellular biotechnology final this morning at 8:00 and am happy to say that the test was surprisingly manageable. Not saying I did well by any means, all I'm saying is that I didn't have a panic attack at the sight of the 67+ multiple choice questions, and isn't that all we can really ask for?

Word of advice for the day: Salsa with habaneros can help clear your sinuses and don't wait around for life to get moving. Stay busy, stay focused, stay optimistic.

INK I

I've created this blog as an attempt to organize my thoughts. Here goes nothing, after all I have a lot of thoughts.

First, I have to admit that I partially created this blog as a means of procrastination. Tomorrow is my last final, meaning also that tomorrow is my last day in high school... EVER. It's a scary thought, trust me I know. I am supposed to wake up at 8 in the morning tomorrow to take a 3 hour test on Cellular biotechnology, a class I struggle to say the name of not mention the content.

Still though, as I sit in bed listening to a medley of Van Morrison songs, I find that my mind is very slightly occupied by thoughts of RNA and DNA and mutagens but instead keeps drifting back to the fact that this saturday is not my prom, but the prom of a boy I was once in love with. A relationship which, to say the least, went awry a few months ago. He's going with a girl who supposedly asked him to the dance, apparently she's "aggressive" but she's pretty so it doesn't really matter. I wish things were different.

Blah, blah, blah I know this seems pointless but it helps to know that I can send this out to the world and although the chance of someone actually reading it is slim to none I feel as though I'm receiving some sort of free therapy. Oh, by the way did I mention I think I'm falling for my best friend? He's a guy I'm a girl, so I suppose it was just a matter of time. The problem? We are going to college soon, he has a full time job over the summer and then in August he's moving to the opposite side of the country. He has nice arms and he's extremely good at tennis and he makes me happy. He has bad teeth, though, it's hard for me to get past that. I know I'm shallow. Whatever, I'm a mess.

Organization is overrated. See you soon.