Life out there

Okay so it's been a few months...

I'm a full blown college student now and my life consists of writing papers, drinking bad alcohol (although I've gotta say that's already gotten old), watching movies, getting sick because I live in a cesspool of human germs, and meeting new people. What's exciting is this:

In the midst of writing at least two essays a week because I am enrolled in three english classes currently, I have had the time to edit and almost finish my book. I'm hoping that by the time thanksgiving break comes to an end I will have a completed and perfectly polished manuscript... or at least one that I am happy with.

As for now my social life is pretty stagnant. I have met some truly amazing people since my time in college but the honeymoon period of being in college has certainly run dry. Not to say I'm not having fun, just that now it feels like I'm in school again, not just playing. I'll try to be better at updating this (although my promise may prove false) I just don't have as much time as I used to.

Word of advice for the day: If you ever have an option to let your identity be completely separate from the amount of money you possess never, ever hesitate to make it that way.

I'm not good enough with Roman numerals to continue like that

I'm so frackin' hungry.

Word of advice for the day: "Don't fear your best friends cause a best friends never gonna do you wrong, and don't fear your worst friends cause a worst friends just a friend that's done you wrong. And don't fear the nighttime cause the monsters know that you're divine and don't fear the sunshine cause everythings better in the summertime." Franti give it to meh.

INK XVIII

La da da da la da da da....

Current news goes as such:

1. I got my wisdom teeth out and have scarcely left my house for the past four days. Lammme. The surgery didn't go as well as they had hoped and they had to dislocate my jaw in order to get one of the teeth out, not that I remember any of that, that's just what I've been told.

2. I have recently become far more dedicated to learning guitar and I am LOVING it. I have, since I was just a wee thing, wanted to play the guitar but I've always been too lazy to actually do it, until now yay!

3. So weird, Not My Type and I have actually stayed in contact. Like a lot of contact. We have texted or called each other every day since I left Aspen and he even came down to the city for a night for a concert, I didn't get to see him though :( (mostly my fault, lack of communication whatevs...) The big bummer though? 'Cause there is always a big bummer, I was right. I was totally, absolutely, 100% being played. Not My Type has a girlfriend. Shit. I realize that I should probably end all communication with him because supposedly I have more morals than to consciously cheat with someone, but he's just so gosh darn cute. Besides since I've been unbelievably high since I got my wisdom removed I can't help but call him at 2 in the morning every day. I hope that ends once I sober up a bit, but we shall see. Stupid guys with girlfriends, why do you make everything so frackin' complicated?

4. The countdown continues until Marmaduke returns and the time is actually ticking by quite quickly. It's slightly terrifying to me for some reason, maybe it's because he gets home, stays home for 7 days and then goes to school. I'm pretty sure we're over, not that we ever were. All I can say is Thank God, I'm freeeeeeeeee. Here's to hot, single, college boys right around the corner!

5. I haven't had any luck with publication thus far, meaning I've sent out 5 query letters and received 3 no's already, fingers crossed for the last two! I think at this point I'm just going to edit it myself and then publish it on Kindle. I've read into it and it seems like a pretty decent alternative to hardback publication and definitely to self publication (which is a horrible idea to any of you who are looking into it).

6. Summer is going TOO quickly and I'm starting to fureak out a little bit. I can say though, that I have somehow managed to do everything I wanted to do. I finished my book, I have taken up photography, learned the guitar, met new people, done something rebellious, and met a new boy. I feel accomplished, I just have to remind myself sometimes.

Word of advice for the day: Life goes fast, remember to look at the things you've accomplished to help it slow down. Also, Take A Minute by K'Naan is gureat, listen to it if you haven't already.

INK XVII

Oh boy it's been a long time. I've been focusing my writing attention on adding the finishing touches to my fourth book (yes!) and the query letters that go along with it. Aside from that my summer has proved abnormally busy considering the fact that I am only slightly productive. I just spent the last week and a half in Aspen and then came down from the mountains and went directly to my orientation for college. It's been a busy week. If you're wondering about my odd love triangle here is the latest news:

1. Marmaduke is in fact no longer in the country. He messages me every once and awhile but our relationship is dwindling and I have found my self surprisingly okay with that. Perhaps it's because of the fact that he never really treated me that well.

2. BFF has been slightly MIA but I suppose the separation is good for us. I've been busy in Aspen and writing and he's been playing so much tennis that his skin has actually turned black from the extended amount of time in the sun. I'm ready for new friends, is that bad to say?

3. Almost Famous and I casually hooked up the other night. We didn't talk about it or anything but it's understood between us that neither of us really like each other it was just we were the only sober ones at this club party downtown. It's not awkward between us at all, which is surprising considering I am admittedly one of the most awkward people ever.

4. I have actually fallen for a new guy. It's odd for me considering for the past two years I have been interested in either one of the three guys listed above. We're going to call this guy Not My Type, because he's not my typical taste. He's more skater/punk, but he's tall and attractive and has bright blue eyes, tan skin, a toned body, he's super nice, and he has earrings. He lives in Aspen, I can't believe I have a summer romance!

Anyway Not My Type did all the right things. He called me pretty, complimented my wardrobe, called me multiple times, begged me to follow him places. Basically he treated me the exact opposite as to how Marmaduke treated me, and it felt oh so good. That being said, I feel like I was a little played. I wonder how many girls he has done this to. You can only tell so much about a person through their facebook. I guess it doesn't really matter now though, seeing as I'm back home and he's still in Aspen. C'est la vie.

Right now I'm trying to focus on what I really want which is this:

I realllllllly want to get my book published. Since freshman year I've been learning about the publication process so that when I finally had a decent manuscript I would know what to do with it. I also want to get in shape so that I can feel confident during my first year in college. Lastly, I want to feel better. Over the past two years I have developed a mild case of insomnia. (I wonder if that has any correlation to Marmaduke? I don't think it does) Anyway, the doctors thought it was because I have celiac so I got way more focused and cut all the gluten out of my life. I feel exactly the same though, except for the fact that now I'm more sensitive to gluten, awesome. I'm supposed to go to the doctor again in about a week and they will decide if I need surgery or not. Apparently I have a really deviated septum so the reason I don't sleep is because I can't breathe. Who knows.

I'm tired and for some reason feel like crying. I'll try to post again soon but I can't promise anything. My focus is somewhere else.

Word of advice for the day: Sometimes it's not worth thinking about the consequences. There are consequences to everything but the aftermath shouldn't prevent you from doing something you really want to do. Also, even if you don't know how to work it right away, a high-quality camera is a very solid investment.

INK XVI

Tomorrow Marmaduke leaves. I wonder if I'll ever see him again. I did in fact see him once before he set off for a different country, and it was purely on accident. Him and his brother were playing bball near my house when I happened to be riding my bike to my friends house. An odd coincidence considering after two years I have never once run into them.

Anyway, I'm feeling a little blue but I'm sure it will pass. I don't really feel like writing much today, but I'll get back into things soon- or so I hope.

Word of Advice for the day: Riding your bike barefoot on a summer night is the ultimate happiness-maker.

INK XV

Okay, okay so I know I'm getting a little redundant but things are once again amiss with BFF. This time though, it's my turn to be mad at him. First he professes his love to me, ignores me, then I tell him I like him back but have to wait until after prom so I don't hurt Almost Famous's feelings, then a few days after prom he hooks up with some rando girl at a club party! Like comon' are you kidding me with this? And then he asks literally everyone else to ask me if I'm mad at him rather than coming up and confronting me himself. I'm so frackin' frustrated I kind of want to punch him in the face.

Anyway I went to one of the many debutante balls last night and there was this guy who oh my most attractive boy i've seen in awhile. Seriously, I miss him and I don't even know him. It really kept my mind off of the fact that BFF was ignoring me completely and all over every other girl. Sigh i'm so done with him and Almost Famous. Time for a new boy, i'm thinking sexy fohawk boy with the Burton t-shirt from the Deb ball. Mhmmm. Oh also in the big new category I bought a camera today a Nikon D3000 and I'm super excited. It was a little pricey but it came with an extra lens and battery and all this other stuff so I think it was a good deal. As soon as it gets here I'll start uploading pictures for sure!

Sorry this blog is more of a rant than anything meaningful but I'm just tired of all of this nonsense. By the way Marmaduke leaves in four days... the countdown continues :/. Here we come Fresh Start, I hope you're as nice as you sound.

Word of advice for the day: Don't be afraid of leaving things behind; life is about the moments and experiences you have and sometimes you only make lasting memories if you change it up a little. Keep your head up, things always get better.

INK XIV

My graduation parties are finally coming to a halt. In the midst of all this madness I am working on leaving town just for a night and retreating to the mountains; my real home.

I'm feeling a little frustrated lately. I think it's because there is so much I want to do but I can never seem to do it. There's something missing from my life and I feel greedy saying that. I have so much that to want more seems absurd. I think I still want Marmaduke. I'm not really sure what I want anymore.

BFF and Almost Famous have recently let me down. Instead of being upset with them though, I've decided that I really don't care anymore. It was too much work to like either of them, so now i've decided to like neither of them. I'm hoping for a fresh start. I can't believe how soon I will be going off to college. Life moves so fucking fast.

I feel like I'm rambling. I know I was going to start my short story series but I am so tired my eyes are literally falling shut as I type. Hopefully I will get around to it this weekend.

Word of Advice for the day: You have to start somewhere. Stop talking about doing something and just do it. Sometimes you just need to sit and figure out what it is that you really want.